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The 10 Most Ridiculous Pick-Up Lines I Got From Italian Men

Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes


Milan, Italy | TheBlogAbroad.com
Milan, Italy

Now before we dive into half the reason you all clicked this article to begin with (hi pervs), it’s hard not to laugh at the boldness of the gorgeous, and too-aggressive-for-my-taste, ways of some of the Italian speciMEN of this world.

Disclaimer: I have many Italian male friends who are lovely people, and I hope they don’t read this, but if they do, Hi and tell your friends/neighbors/male compadres that this is both counterproductive and creepy if their goal is to woo a foreigner like me.

And while I kept most of my Facebook friends entertained with a couple statuses here and there with some of these pathetic one-liners, I realized I had compiled enough to not only make an article, but also remind myself that life as a single woman in 2016 is more or less, the worst.

Gloria Atanmo Facebook Status

Now because I try to keep this place semi-PG, semi-my-mother-is-Nigerian-and-doesn’t-think-I’ll-date-until-I’m-married, and semi-one-day-my-future-husband-might-see-this, that means that I can’t include the more obscene, graphic, and detailed commentary I’ve been on the receiving end of.

And if you’re interested in that version, YOU’RE SICK, I’m sorry, but I’m trying to forget those happened, so re-telling them won’t help.

Alright, alright, I’m sure you’re angsty by now, so here it goes. The top 10. Enjoy. And if you’re wondering if any of these lines worked, well, I don’t think I’d be writing about it if it did. 

Florence Cathedral | TheBlogAbroad.com
Florence, Italy

“I know we just met, but is it okay if I get us a hotel room? I want to kiss you all over.”

All I told him up until this point, was my name and nationality. SIR, HOW DOES THAT TURN YOU ON? 

“I’m the only one in my family that’s not married. But I want to call my mother now and tell her that finally, the wait is over.”

We had a 5-minute conversation prior. I found a nearby bathroom and escaped ASAPtual.

“I’m sorry — you’re just so beautiful. How is it possible that you’re sitting here alone? Can I just touch your hand?”

I told him my “husband” was on his way back soon and then proceeded to act like my hands were glued to my phone and coffee cup.

“So how does this sound — You join me now, I take you out, we have a fancy dinner, maybe you fall in love, and then we go from there.”

Now this guy was actually hot, but his too-perfectly-orchestrated pick-up line involved me getting in his car, which I of course wasn’t going to do. 80 comments on Facebook later, and I slightly questioned my decision, haha. JK. Kinda.

Rome, Italy | TheBlogAbroad.com
Rome, Italy

I was having problems logging into the wifi at my hostel. The bartender passes by and lets me know that, “the wifi works perfect in my room.”

BARF.

“Baby, I need your sweet, sweet smile in my life. Please, don’t leave me. I finish work in 2 hours!”

Beforehand, this waiter slipped me his number while serving me my first course. Sir, if I wanted a second course, or dessert rather, I will ask and gladly pay for it — wait, huh?

“You’re too pretty to be working right now. Don’t work too hard.”

Wait, do pretty people have a designated time frame as to when they work? LOL. I wasn’t aware.

I was in a small village trying to blog and the only place with Wi-fi was a bar, so I was there hashing some work out for 7+ hours.

Next thing you know, he places hand-picked flowers next to my seat and tells the bartender my next glass of wine was on him as he sat across the bar and kept an eye on the wine level in my cup.

“You are like sunshine! Please, be my sun!”

I was wearing a bright, yellow shirt that day. Soooo, yeah.

“WOOOOOOW. SOOOO BEAUTY. WOW.”

Lol, this was actually cute, because he legitimately stared like he’d just spotted a double rainbow, which, let’s all agree that’s as magical as life gets. 

After several not so subtle attempts to get me to go with him for drinks on the river, I told him repeatedly that I had a boyfriend, so then he switched his proposal to, “…but all I want is a hug — and maybe we can do it somewhere more private.”

LITERALLY WHO IS FALLING FOR THESE LINES THAT THEY THINK THEY CAN CONFIDENTLY REUSE THEM LIKE THIS. #FixItJesus

A hug in an alley with someone I have no interest in. SIGN ME UP!!!!! #SaidNoWomanEver

 

And while we can poke fun at the aggressiveness of some Italian men, I’d say the winner for the boldest pick-up line goes to a Greek man in Santorini when I was there in 2014.

I was walking down the street and he sees me, stops, makes an audible gasp, then reaches for my hand, intertwines it with his, then flips it back and forth, telling me, “Wooooow. The contrast! It’s so beautiful!”

He then leans down to kiss my hand, but my ninja skills shake it out of his grasp before he’s able to make contact and I proceed to let him know where I draw the line with my middle finger soooo yeah, cool story, Glo.

Riomaggiore, Cinque Terre | TheBlogAbroad.com
Riomaggiore, Cinque Terre, Italy

To make matters worse, it’s no secret Italian men, and Europeans in general, are rumored to have a fetish with black women, so navigating the dating scene is basically like drawing a map to Mars. Hashtag, impossible.

I constantly have to ask myself, “do they like ME, or is it my skin color they’re fascinated with?”

It makes me hesitant to take any proposal seriously. But hey, dual-citizenship love is love, and if it were easy to find, all my 20-something year old friends back in America would be married by now. Oh, wait. They are. *sobs uncontrollably and remembers I always have Italy when I need a confidence boost*

So if you’re heading to Italy soon, be prepared to be seen as a walking vagina heavy target by some of God’s greatest gifts to Earth — Italian men.

Any notable pick-up lines in Italy (or anywhere) that you’ve gotten while traveling? Drop them in the comments! I need a laugh!

10 Ridiculous Pick-Up Lines | TheBlogAbroad.com
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Expensive dreams with an affordable hustle. Glo is on a mission to show others that there's a world of knowledge out there that can't be taught in a classroom. Let's explore a life beyond our imaginations to reach new heights and gain new perspectives. There's no way in hell I was put on this Earth to just pay bills and die. Newsflash: neither were you.

41 Comments

  1. The most ridiculous pick up line I got was when I was walking into a building and a guy held the door for me. I said “thank you”, he said “no, thank you…for existing”. That was in Santiago, Chile.

  2. LITERALLY WHO IS FALLING FOR THESE LINES THAT THEY THINK THEY CAN CONFIDENTLY REUSE THEM LIKE THIS. #FixItJesus

    A hug in an alley with someone I have no interest in. SIGN ME UP!!!!! #SaidNoWomanEver

    hahaha the best..

  3. Wait until you get to Bosnia-Herzegovina…! Zany as can be, I tell ya! Very bold as well..this guy yanked my hand and kissed the length of it while laughing and muttering gibberish at the Mostar station just before the train came to Sarajevo..then on the way out the train, he spotted me and did it again..a lady nearby translated..he was saying “My sweet chocolate” and kissing my hand like he owned it. Then another Bosnian, older guy, on the day we were leaving invited us to join his table, bought us a meal and was asking if we liked his country and that we should stay, thirty minutes before our bus to Zadar came! Then he saw we were leaving and handed over his watch, opened the door to his car..it was crazy but we managed to leave..all this in Bosnian, he spoke not a word of English, and the guy interpreting for him seemed to have limited english as well, so you bet a whole load of sentences were lost in translation..haha..
    Haven’t been to Italy yet..:-)

  4. you just made me laugh! I have my own pack of adventure with Italian men all over the world! fortunately, mine havent said such stupid things like yours, but, is funny how “lets meet before my girlfriend arrive” is a common phrase!

  5. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with any Italian pick-up lines when I was there, but I’m not too surprised. I encountered some pretty aggressive people in Italy, including a store salesman that grabbed my hand, shoved a purse up my arm, and tried to force me to buy it. (Of course, there are plenty of nice people in Italy and elsewhere, but the aggressiveness of some really took me by surprise!)

  6. Literally no one prepared me for this when I went to Rome and my first night I spent 3 hours with a GORGEOUS Italian man glued to my side asking why I was so beautiful. Much to my friend’s amusement. Unfortunately my reserved English soul did NOT know how to take it and I sadly had to reject his beautiful face. Sob…

  7. Thanks for the giggle and the memories. I remember when I was 22 and traveled with a group across Europe. Upon entering each country we learned basic terms: please, thank you, where’s the bathroom, etc. It Italy we also learned “Don’t touch me”

  8. Hahaha! I feel like I need to write a Cuban rebuttal to this…I literally yelled in the street one day “I’m not that damn cute guys, come on!!

  9. HECK YES dual citizenship!!! HAHAHAHA I already married an American. We are both disappointed in each other over that. My attracted demographic is teenagers who think I’m a young college student…and that ship sailed in 2005. Most awkward was a French waitress — and I was with a group of friends that INCLUDED my husband. At least my future is bright as a cougar. LOVE this post, but I do think you should have agreed to hang out with the hot Italian guy, just not in his car (so both a good and bad decision LOL).

  10. Sounds like Italian men are in the same league with their Ugandan counterparts. My favourite pickup lines from here are “but, I want to marry you” and “hey, my size…” Haven’t a clue if they actually work!

    Happy travels!

  11. Thanks for this hilarious first hand account! I typically travel with my husband so I usually observe this behavior from the sidelines. Occasionally I travel with my 23 yr old daughter and I get a lot of comments about us being sisters which I know is a total line. http://www.bookedonabudget.com

  12. These are so ridiculous. I’m literally rolling my eyes are these strangers. I wonder if these ever work….

  13. I was killing some time in a hostel, reading a book, when a guy sits down beside me, puts his hand on my leg and goes “I really like your skin. I’ve got a private room, you can kill time in a better way.” I noped right out of that one. Happy to get on the bus out of there!

  14. Good timing on this! I’m currently planning a travel concentration in Italy (maybe five or six different trips over the next two years), and at least two of the trips are likely to be solo. I’m now forewarned about the perils of traveling alone while female in Italy. Ha!

  15. I was just in Berlin visiting for about a week and was heading to Amsterdam the following week. As I was walking onto the Metro, a big guy was standing at the top with his arms crossed. I’m thinking he’s just standing, so whatever. As I get to the top, he blocks my way and I try to get around him. He goes, ‘You! I steal your mobile.’ At this point my face is like, ‘huh?’ hahaha.. So I keep walking and he follows me. In my head I’m going, ‘I really don’t want to shank some dude on the U- Bahn. I would not survive a German prison.’ He keeps following me to my train and then finally says, ‘You know what, you have a nice butt. It’s big, but I like it. I show you around Berlin.’ Quite an experience. Other than that one experience I had no issues traveling around Germany. Most people there speak English, but they appreciate when you speak German. Everything is much cheaper than other European cities and they have some nice sites. It’s not Paris, definitely grittier around the edges, but I loved it.

  16. A street merchant in Venice poked my sister in the boob with the rolled up poster he tried to sell her and then said “I like your boobies”.

  17. I will be leaving for Italy (Pisa and Rome) in about 2 weeks, and I am looking forward to it all. I am hearing that I will love it there, but the men are alot to handle. I am sure I will be just fine. Did you ever date there?

  18. Won’t lie, you’re pretty hot. I kind of envy those guys who have the balls to say that. I don’t know if i’d be able to do that to a stranger even if i felt that way about someone. (maybe they don’t really feel what they said, i dunno)

  19. HAHAHAHAHAHA I’m dying ???? I’m glad they weren’t forceful or anything and that you’re okay! I try to block out all instances of creepy guys so I’m not sure if I have funny ones to share…

  20. This tickled me, lmao @walking vagina. You’ll have to try North Africa for men who have no understanding that there is a line. Just got to love them… well, maybe not all of them. Anyway, I was waiting for my brother-in-law to pick me up, after dropping off my car, and I had a few cars drive past and beep. So, ignore, ignore, until one old man, yes I said that.. very old, grey haired man, stopped in his very small car, and started beeping, looking at me with meaning. I looked around, because he could not, repeat, COULD NOT be beeping at me? But he was, waving and gesticulating all the while.. and I laughed, hard and gave him The Finger!!! Now while many women like a sugar daddy, I’d prefer one that can stand on his own two feet, without the aid of a walking frame. lol.

    I do love your blog, and love the way you get around. great job.

  21. My favorite is getting catcalled in Nepal because it’s basically the opposite of at home. They yell, “You are so beautiful. I love you.”

  22. mhh not really agree, Italians guys are usually really racist, I’m born and raised in Italy, they love Americans because they are grown with the American life myth.
    If someone try to hang out with you he will see you as an easy prize because Italian girls are hella closed and picky.

  23. I was travelling in Italy with a girl friend aged 17/18 and it was just relentless. I was so confused! Would like to go back now a bit (lot) older with some come-backs lined up. Thanks for putting the post together. It really made me laugh!

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