A Beginner’s Guide On How To Avoid Being Dragged Off A Plane By United Airlines

Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

---

While the title and my subsequent text might make it seem like I’m making light of someone else’s trauma, I think it’s also important to find ways to use jest and humor rather than outrage, so we don’t further perpetuate the declining popularity of business as usual in America.

After all, this local viral uproar has become international news overnight. So everyone with an internet connection across the globe is weighing in on this. But see video below if you occupy space under a rock.

Yet another PR nightmare for United Airlines made headline news, when they allowed their paying passengers to all board a flight, then tried to backtrack when they later realized they didn’t leave room for their emergency flight crew that needed to help with another flight in the final destination.

And then had to choose four customers at “random” to deplane.

But I later learned that this “random selection” wasn’t all that random, because people with higher mileage and frequent flier status with United, were given priority.

At any rate, the man’s face who’s been strung across pretty much every news story covering this matter, looked both helpless, flustered, and desperate.

And should we be more angered at the Chicago Department of Aviation Officers who mishandled David Dao? Let’s call him by his name, yeah. Dignify him a bit since we’ve plastered his bloodied face across the internet.

Now while I’ve had a few of my flight attendant friends try to justify this saying that it’s company policy, I understand their intent, but it’s still going to be lost on so many.

Here’s the thing — I get it, you need to re-accommodate four of your crew members to prevent delaying a flight that would inconvenience 200+ people.

So looking at the bigger picture here — do we inconvenience 4 people or 200+?

4, duh. Cool. Whatevs.

WHAT YOU DON’T DO, HOWEVER, HASHTAG, UNITED, HASHTAG, COMMA, is bring in people to assault a man who didn’t want to take your phony $800 voucher bribe. By the way, screw vouchers, pay cash. Y U SO CHEAP, UNITED?

I understand there are funnels of approval to upping a voucher, but if not a single person is willing, then you need to up the ante in some fashion.

Incentives work, and I don’t care if it sounds entitled, but when you inconvenience paying customers, that’s how you help say “sorry”.

By trying to save a penny, you’ve now lost a dollar. A billion dollars to be exact — in market value, and almost overnight.

You see, failure to properly execute on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency protocol on someone else’s.

Oh, and their CEO and PR team is a nightmare. How do you “apologize” by claiming that a “belligerent” man “failed to volunteer” their seat?

And I’m so here for the levels of petty Merriam-Webster displayed.

They reported that the word “volunteer” increased its search volume by 1900%. YES 1,900!

That’s how many people felt the need to re-evaluate themselves based on a word with inherent and apparent meaning, but still used to justify poor actions.

Sir. Ma’am. It’s not volunteering if it’s against their will.

Also, I appreciated the lady screaming in horror as onlookers recorded and silently stared as a man’s body looks lifelessly dragged down the aisle.

But if you were someone there and you were truly horrified by this, could you not volunteer yourself on behalf of that man? Like, man we’re a selfish race sometimes.

If you see someone who is being forced to give up their seat, and you’re not in a hurry yourself, do that random act of kindness and volunteer as tribute.

You could negotiate your price at the gate while you had time to waste pending your next flight. Because it was clear he wanted to get back to his patients at work the next day (it was reported he was a doctor and had patients to get to).

I also understand I’m in a place of privilege as to where I don’t have a family to support or work in a typical office every day.

But surely all 200+ people on that plane weren’t in dire situations to get to their destinations on time. In the end, they were all delayed another 3 hours anyway, so no one really won here.

Can we be a little more selfless in situations like these? Please, human beings of the world?

These fat cat corporations don’t care about the everyday consumer, which is how they constantly rack up PR nightmare after another.

At the end of the day, we need to look out for each other. And if someone dares to bring up David Dao’s past which has absolutely nothing to do with how he was treated, please find the little X in the corner of your browser. Because, no and goodbye.

Amazing how we treat minorities who get thrust into the spotlight when they’re the victims. Seriously, this video is horrific.

Pretty cool how United got him to say their new slogan over & over again. “Just kill me. Just kill me. Just kill…” pic.twitter.com/YxI2UstJre

— Diane N. Sevenay (@Diane_7A) April 10, 2017

You'd swear David was black with how quick the Internet wanted to vilify him. Click To Tweet

We could continue to count the many ways in which United Airlines royally failed in the decency department, or we could again direct the blame and shame to the officers who exerted unnecessary force during the removal process.

But in contextualizing, it’s important to look at the procedures that led up to this point. And United made a major boo-boo.

So, blah blah blah, archaic fine print BS (aka Contract of Carriage), the airline is legally able to ask people to accommodate their crew members.

But again, when you allow your customers to board, and then realize you’re in the wrong and try to backtrack, then I’m sorry, you can’t find a scapegoat and use fine print to reason with your wrong.

So as of today, Dr. David Dao lawyered up, because duh, and I want y’all to take a look at one of his lawyers:

First of all, Thomas’ headshot even looks petty. Like, is he flipping off the camera? SIR. You know he will sue you for millions.

His eyes look like they’re ready to pierce the soul of United’s market value from now until forever.

I can’t wait to see how much David gets from this — and I will shamelessly request a share, because it took time to write this article, ha.

So I enjoy following people like Lee Abbamonte on Facebook, because he doesn’t beat around the bush when it comes to weighing in on controversial topics within the travel industry.

Yesterday morning he shared the e-mail that was passed along to all United Airlines employees which was a piss poor attempt from United’s CEO, Oscar Munoz, at trying to do damage control.

He’s made a few more statements since, but I don’t care to include them here, because first impressions are everything, and did you not think that one of your employees wouldn’t pass this e-mail along to further expose your foolery?

Granted, we weren’t on that flight, so before the record button was pressed, we don’t know what was said or done.

But come on, it’s not hard to look at the context clues.

They treated him like a perceived threat, rather than a paying customer.

The CEO called the passenger “disruptive” and “belligerent”. Shall we look up the definition of “belligerent” together?

Your training video is belligerent, sir.

Oh, United, apparently the only airline offering “carry-on luggage and carry-off passenger” service. And did anyone else hear about their new food menu option? Chinese take-out. Here all night, folks.

Seriously, where’s Kendall Jenner with her humanitarian-boosting Pepsi when you need it?

via GIPHY