The end… or the beginning?

Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes

Could there be a more ominous title? The answer is yes. But I’ll save it for my next click-bait update 😉

In all seriousness, holy 2020. What the hell happened and how do we make it… continue!

Yep. How do we make it happen again?!

One thing I love about pain that’s what she said is how much clarity you gain on the other side.

In my most broken chapters of my life, I’ve been able to wipe away the tears and virtual scars and shake my head in disbelief like, “WOW, God I would’ve never learned this lesson had You not put me through that season of grief.”

Betrayal.

Disappointment.

Trauma.

Manipulation.

Deceit.

Everything that’s worth having in life, will come after a season of its opposite emotion.

People understand the depth of love after crawling out of the pits of hate.

People are full of gratitude in their wins after surviving valleys of losses.

People are most celebrated during their death, because they lived a full life.

In a world of extreme polarities, we must use one to gain access to the other.

Without getting too specific [yet], I’ve had to make some tough decisions about the direction of my brand.

That’s why we can’t be so goal-oriented. We need to be driven by missions.

Because once you hit all your goals, then what?

“Uselessness,” my therapist said.

I felt useless.

You spiral downward pretty quickly realizing that money, fame, titles, etc—none of it is inherently motivating. At least not anymore.

Because when you’ve been broke for as long as I have, once you’re able to feed and house yourself, you no longer look at money the same.

I chatted with some CEO friends recently and told them I don’t think I want to be a CEO anymore.

I don’t think I have it in me.

I read the books.

I studied the greats.

I was mentored by the best.

But I don’t have it in me.

My childhood wasn’t better or worse than any other Nigerian or immigrant kid’s.

Our cultures breed strongwill and determination. The strict upbringing and dedication to education is why you can’t find a single city that doesn’t have a slew of Nigerian entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc.

We don’t quit.

Our persistence is quite literally stupid. And you realize that the way you approach life, because of that upbringing, is not normal.

Some might call it toxic, even.

Me. I am “some.”

So if I have my perspective and I’m trying to lead or build a team with the perfect balance of both compassion and sternness in order to get things done, I will literally collapse trying to dance on that tightrope daily.

I thought I was weak.

I thought I was quitting on myself.

I thought all entrepreneurs needed to manage their own brand.

Until the last few weeks when a fellow 7-figure entrepreneur shared she was going through the same crisis.

Amazing how validating it feels to know that you’re not crazy or alone in how you think.

The power of community and connection in this world is insane.

In a moment’s notice, I was drafting emails to dissolve my other companies.

I allowed myself to be humbled and danced with every worst-case scenario.

But ultimately, I found peace with my decision.

If you think finding success is hard, ha! Try maintaining it.

It’s a never-ending journey. And that’s why you have to build purpose into your brand, because there’s longevity in that.

So what am I ending? All my service programs.

• My Sisterhood Circle Retreats

• My Sisterhood Summit

• My Group Coaching

• My Blog Like a Boss Course (LIVE edition)

• My Bali Blogger Bootcamps

• Influencer Group Trips

• My 2021 Mastermind

It’s insane to think that I built a 7-figure business doing things that I love, helping others grow their businesses, travel more, and find community.

Everything that I start, I do with the intention of creating what never existed for me.

But my goal was never for people to become reliant on me to grow.

To need my stamp of approval to thrive.

To see what I’ve created and feel like they’re in a never-ending game of playing catch-up.

I started to feel the despair and discouragement others had, and I no longer knew how to separate those feelings they had for themselves without feeling obligated to do more.

If I make the calls longer, maybe they’ll have more motivation?

If I share what I’m reading/listening to/watching, they’ll get the same hunger!

If I throw myself on the street and call out into the abyss, surely, they will hear their names!

Enter, unhealthy cycle of savior complex.

I’ve never had someone growing up who would let me call them at a moment’s notice when they needed to cry.

Who would craft my emails for me if I didn’t know what to say.

Who could hold my hand as I braved new territory.

And so I became that for literally hundreds of people.

I didn’t know how to draw a line between coaching and empowering them to do the work because I could see them constantly on the verge of quitting. And instead of pushing them harder, I found myself doing their work.

But chasing your dreams is so much more complex than just swallowing fear.

There is family to disappoint.

There are boyfriends/girlfriends who won’t understand.

There are bills to pay.

There are sometimes children to feed.

There are so many external factors that go into someone’s success, and I didn’t know how to separate all of those responsibilities others had on top of growing their businesses.

My mentor said “you can’t coach and coddle at the same time.”

But coaching got results, and coddling got favor.

My need to be liked is non-existent.

I want to be effective.

And I found myself sugarcoating the truth one too many times for the sake of not coming off as harsh as my mother.

A part of me is afraid of being the stereotypical Nigerian parent, and so I lean so far on the other side, I became a doormat.

And I take full responsibility for the people that took advantage of me when they recognized I didn’t have the backbone to say things others would in a heartbeat.

I’ve seen successful entrepreneurs build a massive business for themselves but turn into monsters and mistreat their staff because of the power that came with having a platform.

Am I afraid I’ll ever turn into that?

Never. God will humble me with a quickness!

But do I want the stress of the legalities of someone holding a grudge and falsifying a story because they can?

No thanks.

I’ve become 10x more private about my life this year and felt guilty because I grew my platform by being so open and shameless about sharing everything.

But people who can’t access the new you, will be stuck gossiping about the old you.

And I’m okay with that.

What’s coming next? An entire 180-flip.

What I can share now, is that there will be a lot more creating.

I’m a creator at heart, and storytelling is what I do best.

Through everything I do, I want to be an example of possibility for the next person.

But I can’t be the best me in this next chapter, if I’m juggling a plate of 10 appetizers with just 1 appetite.I'm allowing myself to climb down a mountain I spent a decade summiting, to start the journey of a new one. Click To Tweet

This might be vague, but I promise I’ll have more details to share soon.

I’m excited, nervous, but ready for what’s to come.

And to my friends, if you feel distance between us, don’t take it personal.

Just like my workload that I’ve dissolved, I also realized I don’t have the capacity to be a GREAT friend to hundreds of people.

Because my friendship is all-inclusive, LMAO. I treat my friends like family and literally would put myself on the line to help them.

The burden of carrying that type of friendship for so many people, and learn that most wouldn’t be that friend for me, was also a lesson I needed to learn the hard way.

I’m a hermit these days, spending most of my time reading, playing the piano, and consulting with corporations.

It’s a balanced life.

And balance is my happy place.

I’ve found that I can still love and support people from afar, and that there is no love lost from that.

With my platform growing 150,000 new people this summer, you can imagine I can’t even do social media the same anymore.

I don’t check my FB messages or my Instagram DMs most of the time, and enjoy sharing how I want and when I want, without expectations of anything further.

With every season you survive, know that life is nudging you to evolve yourself.

As we enter Q4 and have one last chance to make something of 2020, my hope for you all is to fall madly in love with yourself and the process of building a dream all over again. I know I have.

xoxo,
Glo